My 500 Words

In The Princess Bride, Vezzini repeatedly employs the inappropriate word inconceivable. Finally, Inigo Montoya calls him on it saying, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." As a 10-14 year old, I followed my father's advice and read the Britannica Dictionary. That exercise taught me the value of words and to use a dictionary to clarify meaning. Last week I came across the word sanguine and the context made no sense until I looked it up and found that it had nothing to do with bloody nor with death. Individual words and phrases convey unintended meanings without proper understanding. Learning allows us to see oft-repeated phrases in a new light, as though it were a first encounter. Consider Exodus 20:8. "Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy." I have long felt it's meaning was so clear and obvious that I refer to it as a Primary or Sunday School 101 answer. I won't even bother writing the lists of the th...

So which is it? The glaring red hand at a crosswalk sends mixed messages. The inconsistent behavior of pedestrians reveals the two-faced personality behind this device that was designed to improve the safety and flow of foot traffic. Congested thoroughfares pose risks to often unsuspecting pedestrians as they go on their way to meetings, take a stroll with friends or get in their exercise routine. These bipeds all see the same signal, a red hand that declares, "Stop!" Some follow the warning and others, as Randy Quaid said in Quick Change , "[they] don't even read colors?" A simple case in point. The light-rail train system in Salt Lake City runs at street level and down the middle of the road. Each rider must cross the tracks and street to get to the sidewalk or platform. The transit authority facilitates this process by placing crosswalks near the front and rear of the trains to promote safety and prevent jaywalking. Invariably some riders dutifully wa...

It doesn’t take long to get over embarrassment. At 2:30 a.m. standing in my room in my underwear I quickly gathered my wits. Perhaps I can attribute my quick wits to the fact that everyone else in the room had taught me how to debate. The protestations flowed quickly as I expressed the pros and cons of what they were planning to do. Certainly I made compelling arguments but they were not deterred, yet clearly sympathetic they gave me three choices. I could come with them in my pajamas. I could wear a lovely dress. They would carry me out in my underwear. There were no obstacles in 1983 About an hour later, after making stops to pick up remaining victims I found myself walking into the Salt Lake International airport in my pajamas and a tie, surrounded by five equally ridiculously attired friends. Our first task toward humiliation involved swimming around the world. At the main entrance to the salt lake airport, in the floor, is a world map with about a 25 foot radius...

What you wear in high school tells the world who you are.  In the mid 80s, Polo by Ralph Lauren and Izod marked the preppies. The cool people donned Jordache jeans and Members Only jackets. Our cowboys stuck to the Wrangler line of products. And Levi provided a safe haven if you needed to cross the clique lines.  Ocean Pacific offered a sporty and fun line of clothing.  I had a corduroy pair or two and a couple of synthetic fiber shorts. Remember these were the days of the short shorts. We're talking John Stockton short shorts. At the end of my sophomore year I was elected as an officer to our debate club. I was pretty excited to be involved in planning our activities and helping to grow our program. On the Friday evening before the last day of classes I went to bed after locking my door so that my younger siblings wouldn't wake me up early on Saturday. It was a warm evening in late May and I ended up sleeping in my underwear. There I lay in my bed underneath a sli...

I feel deluged by reports of the risks of multitasking. I hear them on the radio while trying to sleep. Television news describes accidents caused by texting while I am preparing dinner. I read about tragedies in the newspaper while music plays in the background. Coworkers recount drivers swerving while putting on make-up as I prepare for court. As a cyclist I am keenly aware of multitaskers and strive to be alert enough for both me and the drivers who are around me. I also pay close attention to the other cyclists on the rode because I've had some near misses with them as well. I'll admit that on occasion it has been my distraction that has created the near miss. Scientists perform extensive research to determine whether there are negative effects on performance when we work on more than one task at a time. Seriously, do we need research to demonstrate that our performance is not nearly as good when we are trying to focus on two or more things at once? We all know that...

I can trace several interests and passions to my days as a newspaper boy. At eleven years old, I started a paper route with my brother and at 12 I began my own route that I kept until I was 16.  Not long after, I began to pay attention to the items that were on the front page. The first one to catch my eye was the Dow Jones Industrial Average. It always sat in the bottom right corner of A1. I could fold the papers in such a way, that almost like a flip-movie, I could read the summary of the day. I loved watching it go up and down. When I was fourteen I called a local brokerage firm but was told that the minimum account required $10,000. I had a lot of money for a boy my age, but that sum was out of reach. Nevertheless I continued to watch the market over all of those years. Later when I did open a brokerage account my adviser frequently commented that I was one of very few clients who actually read annual reports and actively participated in my asset allocation. But folding n...

I have practiced my Christian faith throughout my life. As a teenager I attended youth gatherings to learn and discuss the gospel. I enjoyed reading the holy scriptures and commentaries written by scholars who understood the historical contexts in which they had been written. I experienced many dear personal experiences that form a foundation upon which I can rest my hopes and righteous desires.   While reading from many different authors who write about the same subject I encountered a wide array of opinions. As a teenager this presented both good and bad opportunities. During our adolescence we spend a lot of time trying to determine who we are and what our core belief system will be. There are significant episodes of doubt, questioning, and rebellion as we start to shape and form who we will be. In many ways we create a self-sculpture shaping and reshaping ourselves like clay.   mikesastrophotos.com During this time, questions abound, especially the questions t...