The Power of Hate

A few years ago I heard a report about the role of hate on relationships. I still remember the assertion that people form stronger bonds when they share hatred than when they share an interest. Last year I was watching an episode of Shark Tank and an app developer, Brendan Alper, pitched a dating app that linked people based on their shared dislikes rather than their mutual interest and hobbies.This app identified things users hate. The app runs an algorithm to match mutual dislikes and voila!, recommended connections appear. In the process of selling the sharks, he mentioned what seemed to be the same research that I had heard about the role of hate.

I have struggled to comprehend how people could get behind and support a person like Donald Trump to serve as the President of the United States of America. The thought continues to be anathema. As I have observed life in America from my vantage point, I have found comfort and support with those who espouse that same emotion about Trump. Today, a friend on social media challenged another friend to respond to a list of complaints about Trump and justify how people could support such a man.

The other friend wasn’t taking the bait and the questions are such that one cannot reasonably justify Trump’s behavior. Then I remembered the research about hate and I reflected on my view that too much media and communication characterizes our options in politics as binary: right and wrong. I also remembered that the campaign between Trump and Clinton was waged to unify groups that shared the dislike for the other candidate.The messages of shared dislike outnumbered the messages of shared interest. If so much money in political campaigns promotes negative views about the other, there must be something to the research on hate.

Because I agree that Trump is bad, I have to ask a different question: If we know that negative emotions can bind groups, are we wise to attack the leader? I suspect that many people voted for Trump because they hated Clinton. So the list that vilifies Trump misses the mark. They didn’t vote for Trump, they voted against Clinton and in support of their group. Their group supports the belief that the best way to meet the needs of the people is through the market forces of capitalism of which they hope to be a beneficiary. Likewise, many who did not support Clinton voted for her nonetheless, because she represented the group that believes government needs to carefully regulate and direct the market forces of capitalism so that fewer people are marginalized.

It’s a simply summary because of my 500 word limit, but rather than challenge others to defend the most heinous in their group, might it be better to persuasively identify the good of our respective groups. It may not have the same power of hate, but when someone doesn’t feel on the defensive they might be willing to take a look.

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