Where were you when?

I was not alive when either Abraham Lincoln or John F. Kennedy were assassinated so I cannot tell you where I was when those events occurred. But in 1981, I was at home and sick when I heard of the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan. In 1986, I was in Madrid when my landlords brought me into their apartment to watch the reports of the Challenger disaster. In 1989 I was in my parents' basement watching the pre-game show when the Loma Prieta earthquake hit. I was listening to NPR as I arrived to my office parking lot when I  received the news of the first plane striking the World Trade Center in 2001.

Through mass media we experienced these events communally even if we happened to be alone when we first heard the news. Although we each answer the where were you question differently we don't even need to ask where we were in the hours and days afterward. We already know we were gathered together, joined by television and radio, simultaneously receiving the news.

Fortunately this same phenomenon occurs in celebratory times as well. It didn't matter where we were, we formed part of a much larger community when we watched:

• Who Shot J.R.?
• M*A*S*H
• Cheers
• Seinfeld

These prerecorded events became moments of shared communal experience because the collective we gathered to experience them simultaneously. Whether we were in our own homes, at a viewing party at a friends or a bar, we watched these shows together.The next day we didn't have to ask where someone was we just talked about what we thought about what we had seen.

Often I hear complaints that the fracturing of media has destroyed our communal experience. I cannot argue that it has changed, but I am not sure whether the effects are cumulatively negative. Currently my children and I are watching the West Wing on Netflix. I suspect there are thousands who are doing the same thing. However, we are not watching the same episode at the same time and if we can't effectively know it. Hence the communal experience seems limited to that which occurs inside the walls of my own home.

However, through Facebook and other social media platforms I am connected to friends and colleagues throughout the world. I get to broadcast what I am doing and thinking to the whole world. Not everyone receives the message simultaneously, but it is out there. We are able to share with others the things we know and love. Then, when we do come together physically and in person we can commune more deeply because we have already shared our experience.

In the present day, I hear much less the question, "What's new?" My friends don't usually ask that question because they already know. Instead we discuss deeper questions and we share more intimate feelings. More and more frequently we answer where were you when with Twitter or Facebook, but we tend to answer together.