Early Morning Magic

A dear friend teased his children telling them that once they went to bed the adults would get out the good cookies. Children everywhere fantasize about the mystery of night and very early morning. Unrealized experience fuels an innate drive toward fulfillment. Ecstasy occurs when experience exceeds expectation, but ecstasy can be fleeting. Contentment comes when experience shapes expectation and fulfillment is found in the moment and in memory.

Childhood hopes of all night fiestas and the mental image of good cookies inspired me to want to stay up all night. Post midnight consciousness seldom occurred because I got tired and fell asleep. In my high school years I would stay up late, but 2 a.m. found me consuming textbooks rather than tasty treats; my expectations unmet, the ideal of staying awake disappeared and I learned to cherish sleep over delusional dreams. How little did I know?

As a parent I found nothing better than 2 a.m. Early morning moments create challenges, but only when we maintain more responsibilities than just our children. I consider myself fortunate that employers have provided tremendous flexibility to adjust my own schedule to incorporate midnight miracles. These last few weeks have allowed me to relive early morning magic, especially some that I shared with my eldest daughter. As an infant I would hold her, walk with her, rock and sway with her until sleep overtook us both. When toddler age, we watched a favorite video and Mumfie will forever be a part of our family.

Most intimately I would read and sing to her from "I Love You Forever." Like all parents I made up my own tune, and while snuggling close I'd sing, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." Tears would streak down my face as we read and sang about the circle of life and each reading and singing brought renewed fulfillment and complete contentment.

My youngest child isn't as young any more and 2 a.m. moments don't come along as often. This is probably for the best, but recently my wife's mother has been ill and this has required hospitalization. When conditions worsened and stresses overwhelmed, I should have expected the clarity I would find at 2 a.m., but when the hospital phone call came I did not know what I would find nor how I would feel walking into my wife's mother's room.

I am grateful they have been able to stabilize Grandma and I hope for her renewed health. But regardless of ultimate outcome, my late night and early morning visits remind me of those 2 a.m.s with my daughter who shares her grandmother's middle name. I haven't brought myself to sing them out loud, but as I watch her I can't help but think of them both and sing in my head, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, for now and 'til ever, her grandma you'll be."