Not a Natural Born Foodie

Farnsworth Elementary was built within walking distance of McDonalds and the local grocery store. In second or third grade, my class went on a field trip to learn about the different ways modern humans acquire our food. My mother had been so fantastic that I assumed that food came from the table, refrigerator and lunchbox. I have so many siblings that I would stay home with them while my mom went to the store and as a very large family we never ate out. Thus stores and restaurants seemed about as foreign as any  country.

I found the grocery store pretty boring and was unable to really watch anything that they tried to explain in the meat department. Curiously, I was excited when our field trip continued to McDonalds. In fact, when I entered that McDonalds, it was the first time I had entered any restaurant in my entire life. It should be clear that my knowledge of dining out lay somewhere between limited and none. About the only thing I knew about the place was that it sold hamburgers. I'd somehow missed the connection that hamburgers came from cows. Rather than being grossed out, I was excited.

I remember being amazed by the number of choices on the McDonald's menu. Silly me, I thought you just ate what was put in front of you. I had no idea that you could choose what to eat when you ate out. They showed us how they made their fries and we each got to sample two or three. But my excitement level reached its height when they showed us the soda machines. I had consumed carbonated beverages a handful of times in my early life, usually when I had an upset tummy. It was not a part of my regular diet at all. When they asked for a volunteer to sample, I immediately raised my hand before the tour guide finished his sentence.

As one of a dozen siblings, when something was offered, you accepted first and asked any questions later because you never knew if the offer would come your way again. Standing before my entire class I beamed with excitement because I had been chosen to be the taster of the soda, and not just any soda. I had been selected to try some fountain soda. I had seen it on television and was convinced that there could be no better drink than what you would get from a soda fountain.

I watched with anticipation as the employee selected a cup and set it next to the machine. As he pressed the glass against the lever the sweet carbonated heaven began to flow. I got more and more excited with every ounce that magically filled the cup. I quickly brought the heavenly juice to my lips and tasted it.

"Ick."

I just consumed the most distasteful product ever sampled in my still young life. In my excitement I missed that the volunteer was tasting the syrup-free carbonated water.