Red Light, Green Light


We've all been there.  Stopped at a traffic light, waiting for the light to change.  For a moment we do something else.  Before cell phones, we might change the cassette or look at a map; now it's checking email and Facebook. Sometimes in the very moment that we look away the light changes.  That moment varies depending upon who you are.

If you are the driver in the first vehicle you are blissfully unaware that you have missed the signal to go.  You go about your business and you unwittingly cause any number of people behind you to wait.  Your comfort level is about to change. You will either realize your own error as you finally look up and see the light or you will be startled and redirected by the blaring horn behind you.

Now let's go back to that moment before the light has changed and switch places.  You are the driver in the other car.  They say hindsight is 20/20, and the only vision that is clearer than an in-the-car backseat driver is the car-behind-you backseat driver.  Even if you just spent five minutes on the phone or checking texts while driving, the moment that driver in front of you turns his attention from the light, you are all over that.

He needs to pay attention.
The light could change at any time.
I hope whatever he is doing is more important than my time and safety.

And then the light changes.
You start the countdown.

If you live in New York, you're already honking.  But honkers really lose the enjoyment of the show.  The honk brings the predictable angry response.  You called out the driver in front of you and in front of all of his peers.  That is embarrassing.  And when we are embarrassed, we misbehave to overshadow that feeling.  Hence, the predictable swearing, flipping off and exaggerated gestures indicating, "Who do you think you are?"

In a more rural setting, you might just wait to find out how long it is really going to take for that driver to pay attention.  You like sitting in that judgment seat.  Watching and waiting.  Waiting for the moron to wake up.  Seriously, "How do these people even get a driver license?"

You already know what is about to happen.  The driver is going to look up.  He is going to see the light.  But the next move is the best.  Seeing the green light, the driver will not immediately start to go.

No.

First the driver will look in the side-view mirror to see if anyone is behind him.  The shame reflex always comes first.  We always look in the side mirror.  The rear-view mirror is too obvious.  And if you played your cards right, you were looking right in the side mirror when he looked back.

You still called him out.
You know it and he knows it.
There’s nothing he can do but go.

Today, I was the driver in the second car. Tomorrow?

Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you for keeping your comments positive and helpful..

Popular posts from this blog

Merry Christmas 2013

Image
Today I thank my mother and father for their goodness, kindness and example that I hope to emulate through my years. I thank my brother Paul for his leadership. As the eldest of numerous siblings he has paved the way for us all to set goals and achieve them. My sister Kathy has always stood for that which is right.  Her virtuous living and stalwart life keeps us steady and grounded. Joanne has kept our family fun and imbued us with continued traditions.  Thank you Jody. Diane has blessed us all with the example of continual hope.  Her courage in the face of trials is a gift I remember on this Christmas Day. Elaine will give her support to anyone at any time and for any need.  I am not even sure she asks why.  Thank you for that unconditional love. Richard will get into the grind and solve any problem as quickly as it arises.  He shows me the value of not waiting and rueing but just getting in and doing it. My brother Robert, the second of the twins, keeps his youthful
Read more

Starting in the Corners

Image
My mom with two of my children As parents we watch our children learn and grow. As infants they depend on us for almost everything they need. We feed, clothe, protect and teach them all that we can so that they can enjoy a rich and full life.  We tend to recall those years with incredible fondness.  Curiously that fondness seems to grow as the years go by. In those early days and first few years we mark and celebrate the milestones.  That first smile, even if it was just gas, imprints in our mind's eye.  We celebrate or mourn those first steps depending on whether we were there to see them.  We blissfully enjoy the renewed rest as they finally sleep through the night.  And what parent doesn't rejoice at the moment a child can serve herself at a buffet? Through all of these milestone moments our children gradually become the people they will be.  But development is never even nor perfect.  There are always flaws and mistakes. But as parents to our children we encourage t
Read more

Winter

Image
In winter when gloom and dark abound, We lay our heads upon our beds with cold and dread all about. But at the start of dawn's too bright light some hope seeps in our life. For while we slept the dark black clouds emptied their feigned despair blowing down a serene blanket white. Untouched our world feels like a comforter, deceptively warm. The earth is covered with no escape. But there is no fear nor claustrophobic dread. Instead the shining moon drifts above our sleeping heads. A  continuing snowfall scatters the reflected light. Falling flakes fill the air with a brilliant array of heavenly hope. Hope that comes from this blanket so fair. The world now brimming in brilliant white. We gather our boots our scarves and our coats. We know the cold air that awaits. Our flesh is to weak to withstand the harsh blast of deep winter's icy, sharp flair. We take a step to just explore. We are vulnerable. We feel the cold. We are small.   We groan, we moan
Read more