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Showing posts from January, 2014

The Art of Listening

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Replica Ark of the Covenant Wikipedia Almost 30 years ago I was involved in a conversation about the Old Testament.  Involved is an overstatement.  Most of the time I was just hearing the other people because I didn't  understand what they were talking about.  I had studied Spanish minimally and had only lived in Spain for about a month. I was in Spain serving a religious mission. I spent a lot of time reading scriptures and during that week I was studying the Pentateuch.  When the conversation turned to the Ark I became very excited.  I could contribute to the conversation.  I found it remarkable  that I had been reading about the ark of the covenant that very morning comparing its references in the King James and Reina Valera translations. So with my limited Spanish I broke into the conversation and spent the next 10-15 minutes talking. I used the symbolic importance of the Ark and its imbued power to weave  an intricate discussion...

Nothing to Sneeze at

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If you are reading this I probably owe you an apology.  This is true even if I don't know you.  Have you ever been suddenly startled by a loud sound that you couldn't quite identify? Have you ever seen a blowing mist but there is no cloud nor rain?  If both of these events have occurred at the same time, it was probably me. I have been walking since a very early age.  I think I have been talking since before then. I could pretend read at a super young age and I am sure I believed myself quite precocious, even before I knew the meaning of the word.    But I am confident that the first developmental milestone I reached was the sneeze. There are many types of sneezers in the world. Silent sneezer Quiet and dainty sneezer Multiple sneezer Loud sneezer Me The Silent Sneezer If you are not intently watching the silent sneezer you will have no knowledge that anything occurred.  If you are watching, you will see the nose wrinkle, the eyeb...

Spain, I love you.

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Spain. I consider it an honor to have lived in Spain and I feel a kinship with its land and people.  It's been twenty years since I have stepped on Spanish soil yet the memory not only lingers but resides, ingrained, in my mind.  There are moments that are as real today as though they had just occurred.  I hear the echo and the sound of the streets.  I smell the scents of bakeries, smoke-filled subways, and tree-lined parks.  I relish in the legacy of each passing step where one building reflects centuries old history and the next displays the promise of progress. I miss the morning trip to the panadería to purchase a fresh "barra de pan" or bar of bread.  The Spanish bar of bread has a crunchier crust and is somewhat more narrow that its French companion. The fullness of its flavor alone, dipped in chocolate or later as a bocadillo with ham and cheese; that single baguette offers added meaning to the bread of life. Friends tell me that the siest...

Happiness and Joy

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When we discuss feelings we often simplify our emotional range using labels of happy or sad.  We become like those who, when seeing a color, see blue, red or green, instead of aqua, cherry, or forrest. There are subtleties and even great differences in each emotional feeling just as each color carries a broad range of shades. Within the realm of positive emotions we can explore the differences between happiness and joy.  When I experience these emotions simultaneously my life is in synch; a synchronisity where my past preparation becomes present usefulness toward a harmony with future goals.  I hope to obtain that convergence of harmony more often in life. I regularly discover many things that bring me happiness.  Likewise I have identified numerous other causes that result in joy.  These situations and experiences are not always the same. Sometimes the very thing that bring me happiness prevents me from having joy.  I find, however, that there are ver...

Red Light, Green Light

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We've all been there.  Stopped at a traffic light, waiting for the light to change.  For a moment we do something else.  Before cell phones, we might change the cassette or look at a map; now it's checking email and Facebook. Sometimes in the very moment that we look away the light changes.  That moment varies depending upon who you are. If you are the driver in the first vehicle you are blissfully unaware that you have missed the signal to go.  You go about your business and you unwittingly cause any number of people behind you to wait.  Your comfort level is about to change. You will either realize your own error as you finally look up and see the light or you will be startled and redirected by the blaring horn behind you. Now let's go back to that moment before the light has changed and switch places.  You are the driver in the other car.  They say hindsight is 20/20, and the only vision that is clearer than an in-the-car backseat driv...

The Consequences of Extended Adolescence

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My 16-year-old son asked, "Why doesn't the school zone extend all of the way to the high school?" I answered, "Because the school zone rule applies to elementary, middle or junior high schools." When he asked, "Why not?"  I replied in jest, "Once you reach high school I guess you're old enough to die."  We laughed. The rule to end school zones after junior high  is somewhat arbitrary.  Apparently high schoolers are responsible enough to not require a reduced speed limit to be safe.  This is just one situation that illustrates how becoming recognized as an adult is highly variable. This is because the change from a child to an adult is not one moment but a process.  We call that process adolescence.  Childhood ends and adolescence begins at the onset of puberty. What is less clear is when does the adolescent become an adult?  Driving ages begin as young as 14 and range up to 18.  Voting rights and drinking ages range from 16 to 21. ...

Are you a voicist?

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I was 17 years old when I watched a celebratory interview with Daley Thompson who had just won his second gold medal in the Olympic Decathlon.   I had been rooting for our American competitors but really understood nothing about the sport; but because these were the Olympic Games  I joined the rest of America in rooting for Team USA.  I still recall my surprise, not that Daley Thompson won, but for the first time in my life I heard a black man speaking with a British accent.   Eight years later I found myself in a law school lounge chatting with some classmates about our new shared experience.  We discussed where we came from, some basic life and world views and other typical topics when you are getting to know someone.  One of the men was a black man who had come out West to study.  His experience still shocks me.   He arrived about a month before school started so that he could get settled before diving into the law student routine....

Great Expectations

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We earn trust when what we say and do reflects reality. We erode trust when reality diverges from expectations that we create by words and deeds. The intrinsic bond between expectation and trust grows because trust creates expectations.  The realization of those expectations create and strengthen trust. The new level of trust develops deeper expectations. When expectations are shattered by the behavior of those we believed we could trust we experience disgust, disappointment, and doubt, depending upon the gravity of the error.  Without excusing the behavior of the one who has erred we can limit the effect and attune our response by understanding our role in the trust expectation cycle. There are three primary steps to ensure trustful living. Make affirmative statements Speak what you know to be true. Promise things within your control. Careful Affirmative statements are not only more clear and prevent misunderstanding they are easier for our brain to process...

A lighter note on savings

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We are bombarded with messages about how much we can save.  They come from  your local furniture store, national retailer, insurance or home loan lender.  Some people are bold enough to even claim to save you time but that is a completely different subject.  If you think about how much you have saved by purchasing any number of items you might be surprised. My son has played the clarinet for several years.  When we selected the clarinet it was really his second choice.  He asked to play the saxophone.  After consulting with a number of people we learned that the clarinet was a less expensive instrument and making the switch later on was very doable.  For the first year he played, I crowd sourced a clarinet.  That really saved us a lot of money. Given that he kept playing the instrument we went to the local music store and got a slightly better but relatively inexpensive instrument.  A few years later we upgraded to a simple prof...

Drug addiction: A sober view

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I don't understand drug addiction.  I suspect I never will. When I was in junior high school a couple of times I had friends who asked me to skip class.  The first time I didn't go.  The second time I made it out to a bern just past the baseball diamond. When I realized that some drugs were involved I had the will to decline and got back to class with a lame excuse and a tardy. In high school the opportunities were more regular.  A few friends used drugs and especially alcohol pretty regularly.  While fostering our friendships I let them know I was committed to being sober.  Because we were friends our differences did not divide us but they made our friendship richer.  Even more, these friends respected my views. I can remember parties where a friend would come up and tell me it was time for me to go.  The first time, I looked at this guy and said, what do you mean? Things are just getting started.  He was straight with me and said...

"Dad, Why do we have sports?"

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Yesterday my 10-year-old son inquired why we have sports.  I have not fact checked my response but I suggested that we engage in sports so that we no longer have to actually kill people to determine who is the strongest.  We can declare winners and losers with made up rules that challenge our physical, emotional, and mental acumen. Occasionally the athletes we admire rise to the occasion and excel in all of those areas.  Others are physically impressive but lack emotional and mental control.  Others who are less physically adept are able to use greater emotional focus and rapid wits to outmaneuver others who, perhaps, should have won. This is why I love John McEnroe. Mr. McEnroe was not even close to the most physically advanced player of his day.  His emotions on the court were almost never under control, let alone focussed.  And to this day he jokes about his own mental state so I assume he won't mind this simple jab.  How on earth did this ...

Happy Birthday, Channel 7!

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Happy Birthday, Channel 7! I have no memory of the Friendly Giant. Apparently it was the first show broadcast by the station on January 20, 1958. I wouldn't be around for almost 9 more years. Classic Sesame Street Sesame Street. That was my childhood staple.  Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Cookie Monster and the Grouch were as good as friends. I also enjoyed the Electric Company. As a very young boy I was enthralled by Ms. Julie and Romper Room.  Mr. Rogers?  I found it lame and not much fun.  The whole puppet thing and King Friday?  I didn't get it.  But I know them all because of KUED. When I became a teenager public television and I experienced a long-term separation.  I don't know if they didn't have programming or if I needed to keep up with the back-to-back Love Boat and Fantasy Island episodes.  Could have been the cacophonous Archie Bunker.  CHIPs was always a predictable hour.  But my network relationship was best repres...