Drug addiction: A sober view

I don't understand drug addiction.  I suspect I never will.

When I was in junior high school a couple of times I had friends who asked me to skip class.  The first time I didn't go.  The second time I made it out to a bern just past the baseball diamond. When I realized that some drugs were involved I had the will to decline and got back to class with a lame excuse and a tardy.

In high school the opportunities were more regular.  A few friends used drugs and especially alcohol pretty regularly.  While fostering our friendships I let them know I was committed to being sober.  Because we were friends our differences did not divide us but they made our friendship richer.  Even more, these friends respected my views.

I can remember parties where a friend would come up and tell me it was time for me to go.  The first time, I looked at this guy and said, what do you mean? Things are just getting started.  He was straight with me and said the keg was on its way and it was time for me to go. He didn't need to say anything more. I left.  Subsequently it might just be a look or a nod, but I was impressed by there sincere respect for me.

I can't say that I have ever come to accept or understand why substance use and intoxication hold such a tremendous appeal.  The choice isn't new.  Throughout history and indeed pre-history humans have used alcohol and other intoxicating substances.  So my alcohol and drug-free life may make me the odd duck of the crowd.  The good news for me is that I have never felt ostracized or ridiculed for my choice.

Mad, sad or mean drunk?

I recognize a moral component to my choice.  While an altered state would certainly provide a different perspective I am still exploring the many perspectives of sobriety.  Religious beliefs definitely guide my decision to abstain and the exercise of my agency to refrain has helped me in other areas where self control presents a greater challenge. Perhaps the biggest source for avoiding that first foray into intoxicating substances stems from my recognition that I don't know where that experiment would end.  Office friends debate whether I would be a quiet, effervescent or mean drunk.

I am grateful that most of the people I know who drink, or use drugs, manage their intake at levels where they can enjoy the buzz and still keep their behavior within society's generally accepted norms. But then there are others where those same choices lead to embarrassment, heartache and sadly even death.

Drug use is not drug addiction.  It could be that I am just more risk averse than others and the risk of addiction is enough to abstain.  I'm sure that I am missing something but I have no regrets.  It's a path I do not choose.

Like I said, I don't understand drug addiction.  I hope I never do.