Spiderman

As the dad, I feel an almost primal need to protect my home and family. It is very important that they are safe and that their needs are met. Much of what I do and how I spend my time is to make sure that we have the resources we need to be able to have a place to live, get the places we need to go and generally live a comfortable life. Even though I grew up in a household that didn't lock the doors at night, I have come to adopt my wife's standard and feel the extra sense of security from the locked doors and windows.

But it is no secret that I'm the biggest scaredy cat of the bunch. The list of things that frighten me is longer than wait since the last Cubs championship; and since we're still waiting for next year my list is probably endless. When I encounter a spider the very insides of my skin shivers and shutters. As my body decides whether to flee or fight, I do neither. The fight or flight reactions are actually two of three responses to danger, the third is freeze and I specialize in that. I will sit as still as possible while imagining the deadly venom entering my bloodstream from the painful  bite of that lurking spider. I just want it gone but there's nothing I can do.

But my panic creates a powerful internal conflict. I know that spiders do so much good in keeping other insects and small little critters at bay. If we didn't have spiders, I'd have a whole bunch of other things to worry about scurrying through my house while I am sleeping. So I use this time of still fright to weigh my options. Is it better to let the spider live or should I try to kill it? I don't even know why I ask the question, because I know the answer, I don't have the heart of a killer. I feel bad when bugs die on my radiator grill or windshield, especially on long road trips. Before I was married this dilemma had no answer and posed a continual internal debate and worry.

I didn't know it when we got married but I found out that my good wife not only appreciates the help that spiders give to us, she has no fear about getting close to them and setting them free outside. So now when I meet a spider, anyone in the house, and maybe a few neighbors, can hear my survival instinct cry for help. And to the rescue she comes. She'll usually bring in a small cup with a paper to put over the top and she takes the spider outside. She makes it look so simple and she doesn't even break a sweat. I would feel a little safer if she would take the spider to the neighbors instead of leaving it on our porch because no lock can stop a spider.