The Best Driver
Over the years I have made several changes that have helped me to become a much better and safer driver. I was like many teenage male drivers in my early years. I had an attitude that I needed to get wherever I was going first. If there was a car in front of me I felt a primal urge to get in front of that car. I congratulated myself with each pass and it made driving seem like a video game that never ends; because there is always a car in front of you. If the highways had been a loom I would have woven beautiful tapestries during those early years.
I have also become better at leaving earlier and this has had several positive effects in my driving. I feel less stress when I drive so I slow down and pay attention. Just yesterday a car pulled in front of me. I mentioned to my son that I would have to slow down to observe the two-second rule. I was already creating extra space when it became clear that traffic was stopping in our lane because of backing from the next exit. Because I was not speeding and had slowed down, my son didn't even notice the evasive maneuvers that avoided a near-certain collision.
Needless to say these improvements and others have helped me realize that I am, in fact, the best driver in the world. I even proved it to my son. Assume for a moment that I am right and I am the best driver in the world. There are really only three other types of drivers. There are those who go faster than me, some drivers will travel slower than me, and there could be drivers who drive exactly the same as me. I really can't think of any other possibilities.
So if we look at those drivers who travel faster than me we can see that they are clearly maniacs. They simply represent my driving style from many years earlier. These people are menaces on our road and can quickly be ruled out as better drivers. I figure this accounts for almost 60 percent of drivers, because many more people pass me on the highway than the number of people that I pass.
There are 39 percent of people who drive slower than me. These people are obviously morons. I am already driving a safe speed so if you are going slower that that, the logical conclusion would be that you are a moron and not a better driver.
This still leaves me with 1 percent of people who could be better drivers than me. Not so fast. Anyone who is driving exactly the same speed as me is, by definition, a stalker. Stalkers are not better drivers because their attention is on me and not the road. I'm sorry if you just realized that you are either a moron, maniac or stalker.
On the bright side, I am usually on my bike.
I have also become better at leaving earlier and this has had several positive effects in my driving. I feel less stress when I drive so I slow down and pay attention. Just yesterday a car pulled in front of me. I mentioned to my son that I would have to slow down to observe the two-second rule. I was already creating extra space when it became clear that traffic was stopping in our lane because of backing from the next exit. Because I was not speeding and had slowed down, my son didn't even notice the evasive maneuvers that avoided a near-certain collision.
Needless to say these improvements and others have helped me realize that I am, in fact, the best driver in the world. I even proved it to my son. Assume for a moment that I am right and I am the best driver in the world. There are really only three other types of drivers. There are those who go faster than me, some drivers will travel slower than me, and there could be drivers who drive exactly the same as me. I really can't think of any other possibilities.
So if we look at those drivers who travel faster than me we can see that they are clearly maniacs. They simply represent my driving style from many years earlier. These people are menaces on our road and can quickly be ruled out as better drivers. I figure this accounts for almost 60 percent of drivers, because many more people pass me on the highway than the number of people that I pass.
There are 39 percent of people who drive slower than me. These people are obviously morons. I am already driving a safe speed so if you are going slower that that, the logical conclusion would be that you are a moron and not a better driver.
This still leaves me with 1 percent of people who could be better drivers than me. Not so fast. Anyone who is driving exactly the same speed as me is, by definition, a stalker. Stalkers are not better drivers because their attention is on me and not the road. I'm sorry if you just realized that you are either a moron, maniac or stalker.
On the bright side, I am usually on my bike.
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