I found sanity in junior high school

Jr. High Me

I was fourteen years old when my junior high school counselor called me down to his office to ask if I would participate in a pilot program during the following year.  Our school planned to implement an intervention for at-risk student using their peers as a primary resource.  Under the direction of the school counselors approximately a dozen students would meet with students in semi-private sessions.  Half the time we would tutor them and the other half we would talk and establish a trusting relationship. We were specifically instructed to not engage in therapy but to create a space where these peers could feel comfortable with someone positive at the school.  We were called peer counselors.

Peer counseling or mentoring

I was in the eight grade when I met with my counselor and agreed to participate in the program.  We spent the second semester meeting as a group and getting some invaluable training.  We engaged in numerous exercises that helped us focus on our personal value systems.  Our instructor regularly cautioned us about the importance of being grounded when working with others who are struggling.  They wanted to be as sure as possible that we were emotionally prepared and had tools to avoid getting caught up in the drama that would often surround kids who were struggling at school.

When I attended university and work-related seminars I was surprised when presenters would explain principles of reflective listening as though it were a novel topic.  Because of my experience in eighth grade I thought everyone had been taught and knew these things.  In retrospect I recognize the tremendous value and return that I have realized because of the early introduction of that concept into my life.

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We also practiced principles of meditation. The practice of meditation allows me to consider and visualize concepts and feelings when I am unable to find words to express them.  Through meditation I am convinced that we humans can think without using words.  The process of meditation sometimes results in an articulable thought but other times I am left with the profound understating experienced by the meditation itself.

I immensely appreciate the instruction on relaxation.  My wife often comments about my ability to go to sleep quickly. I attribute this ability to the skills I learned as a fourteen-year-old boy and I continue to practice. I systematically begin at my toes and purposefully make myself specifically aware of them.  I will flex them, if necessary, to identify them one at a time.  After the contraction I relax. I will repeat this as needed until all tension has left that part of my body. Then I move to my foot, then to my ankles and all the way up the rest of my body until I feel stress free.

Emotional stability, listening, meditation and relaxation are all skills. Skills we can learn while relatively young and that can be enjoyed for a lifetime.  While I know we helped our peers, perhaps the biggest benefits are mine.