Flying Glass

I have observed a complete breakdown in the manner that people board and exit trains, buses and elevators. The basic rule requires that those boarding step aside and wait for those exiting before they attempt to enter. Simultaneous entry and exit causes chaos and the breakdown of our social fabric. Everything flows better when people follow this simple and established norm.

Those who are in a hurry to enter should not worry. Most people will press the door open button while others will literally risk life and limb to keep the door open. I have seen people on elevators stick out their own arms and legs in order to keep the doors from closing. Some elevator doors have sensors that automatically reopen the door when the beam is crossed by any object, including an arm or a leg. Other elevator doors  some level of tension before they stop closing and you need to force the door apart to allow the person waiting to get on.

I had the good fortune of working in two buildings that had a great deal of architectural character and historical significance. Because of their age, they also had old-style elevators. One of these was the Boston building in downtown Salt Lake City. One day when I was leaving the office for a mid-morning appointment I naturally called the elevator. Because of the time of day I was not surprised that no one else was on the elevator. So after confirming that no one was exiting, I boarded.

The entrance to my office was immediately outside of the elevator but around a slight bend so you couldn't actually see the entrance. Just as the elevator doors were closing, I heard a sound like a door latch and assumed that someone was leaving my office and would want the elevator. The instincts of common courtesy that my mother had taught me kicked in. I needed to hold the elevator door so that whoever it was would not have to wait. For reasons that still escape me I did not choose to use my arm nor my leg to hold the doors; I simply peered out with my head to see who was coming.

The doors did not stop and as I was about to pull my head back into the elevator I was perfectly positioned so that each door hit the temples of my glasses, the very glasses that I was wearing on my head. As I instinctively jerked back my head my glasses remained nearly six feet above the ground jammed between the doors of the elevator. Unfortunately they lacked the required tension and the door continued to close; slowly bending my glasses until the pressure caused them to shoot straight into the elevator and crashing against the back wall.

Fortunately no injuries resulted and a quick trip to the one-hour glasses shop had me on my way. But I can assure you that I have never used my head that way again.