The Shining
Recently my preteen daughter warned me that a television program would be too scary. Normal parents would also conclude that their child wouldn't be viewing it either. Well, I'm not normal; I trusted my daughter and left the room. I cannot tolerate modern media that use danger and fear to entertain and I know why.
I was 18 and still in high school when I attended a friend's movie-a-thon. Sometime after midnight The Shining appeared on the screen. At this point, half of the guests were asleep; not me. I bravely watched the movie. My school coursework was rigorous, including A.P. English. My terrific instructor had taught the concept of the willing suspension of disbelief - when authors require that a reader accept as true something that might not be true in our reality.
While watching The Shining, I came to the conclusion that I had internalized that lesson all too well. Sometime after one my brain was no longer able to differentiate what was on the screen and what was real. Every image, hallucination, vision and act was actually happening while my rational brain slept but my imaginative mind actively received the horrors enacted before me. The only way I can even begin to describe my fear is to explain what happened after the movie.
The same friend who had given me a ride to the party drove me home. He and I had been friends since junior high school. Remember I was an 18-year-old senior and image was everything. When we pulled up in front of my house I looked at the darkened windows, slowly opened the passenger door but before I could get out I asked, "Can you walk me to the door?" Surprised he replied, "Seriously?"
"Yes, I'm totally freaked out."
"OK," he said.
So he walks me to the door. Once on the porch I asked him to wait a second and he did. I opened the door and hesitantly entered my house and quickly turned on the hall light, I then proceeded to turn on the kitchen light, followed by the next hall light, the bathroom light on my left and finally the light in my room. Once I established this well lit trail, I returned to the porch and released my friend from his duties. I didn't care about my image. Retracing my steps and one by one I turned off the hall, kitchen, hall, and bathroom lights. I then shut and locked my bedroom door but I could not turn off the light.
It was three in the morning I was exhausted but could not sleep. I knelt and prayed but the fear remained but my prayer was answered. I felt inspired to read the Old Testament. It still took an hour or two, but with my bedroom light on, the words of Moses did help me find sleep. But the effects have lingered and I now rely on my children to protect me from my own fears.
I was 18 and still in high school when I attended a friend's movie-a-thon. Sometime after midnight The Shining appeared on the screen. At this point, half of the guests were asleep; not me. I bravely watched the movie. My school coursework was rigorous, including A.P. English. My terrific instructor had taught the concept of the willing suspension of disbelief - when authors require that a reader accept as true something that might not be true in our reality.
While watching The Shining, I came to the conclusion that I had internalized that lesson all too well. Sometime after one my brain was no longer able to differentiate what was on the screen and what was real. Every image, hallucination, vision and act was actually happening while my rational brain slept but my imaginative mind actively received the horrors enacted before me. The only way I can even begin to describe my fear is to explain what happened after the movie.
The same friend who had given me a ride to the party drove me home. He and I had been friends since junior high school. Remember I was an 18-year-old senior and image was everything. When we pulled up in front of my house I looked at the darkened windows, slowly opened the passenger door but before I could get out I asked, "Can you walk me to the door?" Surprised he replied, "Seriously?"
"Yes, I'm totally freaked out."
"OK," he said.
So he walks me to the door. Once on the porch I asked him to wait a second and he did. I opened the door and hesitantly entered my house and quickly turned on the hall light, I then proceeded to turn on the kitchen light, followed by the next hall light, the bathroom light on my left and finally the light in my room. Once I established this well lit trail, I returned to the porch and released my friend from his duties. I didn't care about my image. Retracing my steps and one by one I turned off the hall, kitchen, hall, and bathroom lights. I then shut and locked my bedroom door but I could not turn off the light.
It was three in the morning I was exhausted but could not sleep. I knelt and prayed but the fear remained but my prayer was answered. I felt inspired to read the Old Testament. It still took an hour or two, but with my bedroom light on, the words of Moses did help me find sleep. But the effects have lingered and I now rely on my children to protect me from my own fears.
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