Generosity

Although I earn enough to meet my family's needs, I feel the constant weight from the burden of debt. Fortunately, I am only indebted to one entity based on the mortgage of my home. My circumstances have allowed me to meet those payments each and every month in a way that typically hides the underlying stress. Day in and day out the worries lie camouflaged in dark recesses of my mind because the continual flow of income exceeds the expenses of our home budget. Once in a while the strain jumps out from its hiding place when circumstances show that employment income is more like a small stream than a rushing river; it can go dry.

The Salt Lake Tribune continues to make cuts in personnel in response to demands by its owners. They have not shared with me the current state of the newspaper's income and expenses. It is thus impossible for me to know whether these cuts are necessary to preserve something or if they represent a means to enhance profit. What I do know is that if my wife had been one of the eight who lost their jobs and their income, the steady river of household income would have shrunk to a stream. This moment brings to the forefront of my mind the hidden burden of debt, a burden that never sleeps.

I will respond to this stress in the three ways that I know how until my conscious concerns return to the background noise in my head. I will continue to accelerate the repayment of debt and move the finish line forward by as many years as possible. I will continue to invest in diversified instruments that offer a reasonable expectation of growth and income toward a goal of matching investment income to employment income. I will continue to show generosity to others, especially those who experience less fortune than I.

The first steps are focussed on me and creating a sense of individual and family security. They are important and I believe that without an expectation that you can take care of yourself, it becomes all but impossible to be willing to help others who are around you and stand in need. When we share of ourselves and our resources to the benefit of others we do so much more than help the recipient of our aid. I wish I had a greater faith in augmented reciprocal generosity because I have never given to another without feeling more richly rewarded myself.

I know that my ongoing fears stem from the fact that the rewards received are often immeasurable by economic standards, so I will continue to pay down my debt and invest for the future but I will also enhance my capacity for generosity. I will not limit my gifts to money or things of monetary value but I will freely give of my time, my talents and my energy because I know that every gift given will uplift another and enrich my soul.